In the mid 90’s, I was living in Boston and attending art school, studying art history and learning about those who were paving the way. Mapplethorpe and Duane Michaels were two such artists. While appreciating their work visually, what I became more attracted to was their courage to put their sexuality out in the open for the world to examine.  I wasn’t interested in the fantasies Duane Michaels was creating or the leather clad gays with whom Mapplethorpe surrounded himself.  I was searching for something to which I could visually relate.

My earlier self-portraits were about examining myself; how it felt to be the subject, shoot within my personal space, and trying to recreate my mundane life for my peers to see. I wanted to show that my relationship with my boyfriend at the time was just like any other. I would set the camera on a tripod, placing myself within the focal plane, mimicking my daily rituals - lying in bed with my lover, getting dressed in front of the camera, primping in the bathroom. I began photographing myself nude & displaying my sexuality like the men I had studied.

In 1997, I left Boston to attend the School of Visual Arts in NYC. A whole new life unfolded before me. At once, I became overwhelmed by the energy and fast pace of NYC. I felt as if I had to try and capture what I was feeling in my new surroundings. The comfort of black & white imagery that I had become so familiar with no longer lent itself to what I was trying to capture. I soon discovered that color film was the answer. Vibrancy, energy and sense of realness is what color film gave me.

SVA opened up a whole new group of artists to me. Nan Goldin, Wolfgang Tillmans and Jack Pierson. These artists introduced a genre of photography that I related to aesthetically. I finally felt there was a group of photographers that I could strive to be amongst. What I knew I had to do was continue to stay true to my vision and make sure I didn’t become a copycat. 

In 1998, I took my first self-portrait with a medium format camera; a turning point with my photography. I discovered I enjoyed setting up scenarios with this classic format and began making images that I stylistically created. Photographing with a 35mm camera enables me to capture moments of my life that are actually happening; crying in bed after a lover broke up with me, dressing up in drag or making love with my boyfriend. While each format stands on its own, together they allow me to create a visual dialogue of my life.

In 2000, my work changed again. This time, it came from an event that happened to my boyfriend and I.  We were severely gay bashed by a gang in NYC. After this event, I decided I would never be ashamed or falter from who I am. I began to look at my role within my family and community. I didn’t want to create images that were depressing, so humor had to be (and continues to be) a strong point within my photographs.

Some people may only relate through laughter…maybe by pointing their finger at me. If so, that’s fine; I know who I am. I have a responsibility to stay open and honest.